His ship came in to port on Friday the 12th of March 2004. I hadn't yet started the count down to his departure, I don't think I wanted to think of that at this stage.

I relive those moments and relish their effect on the tingling taste buds of my memory.

on an excitingly quiet Friday when all the house was asleep and I was jumping around trying to get ready before noon (that was when I wanted to be at the Port) the phone rings at 11:15 and his voice scratches at me "where is the Visa?" holy shit! He's here, he's finally here. After eight months of anticipation the agony of waiting is finally over... I stand and then walk not knowing whether to stay put or just wander around the waiting area, I'm restless, too restless and nervous and I look and see him from afar. She waves to me that there are seven people before him, I try to count seven and suddenly I don't know my numbers. I see him without counting. My heart and mind see him before my eyes ... My soul flies .. (to see what he's wearing?!)

He came out to the waiting area, arm over his sisters shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said 'Hiii!' like we'd met yesterday! (he did that intentionally we had spoken about this moment on numerous occasions but as much as we thought we may know it had still surprised us.

What was noticeable is the mutual intensity of emotions and attraction, as he shook my hand I felt that he held it for too long I tried to pull away ... yet not long enough, did I fear that they would reveal some secret of how I felt towards him? Was I worried that my heartbeats would reverberate through him and to his sister (whom I did not want to make uncomfortable-after all he is her brother)? Was it just plain and simple shyness at meeting someone that were we in high school it would count as an enormous crush? Yes I think that was it, a combination of all those and more. I did feel like I knew not how to speak nor act nor simply be, I was flushed and shy and confused.

Yes confused, because though I felt the reverberation of a certain frequency between us, I still did not know if he thought me adorable or abhorrent.

We drove to their hotel, I wanted to leave brother and sister alone so they might catch up but I couldn't. My eyes needed to observe him in full, I needed to absorb him, I did not know what to do. I wanted to cry, I wanted to shake and die. I was a complex riot of emotions erupting in the crowded downtown area of my insides and soul.

cont'd ...