Thursday, November 15, 2007

Depression

Apparently, I'm depressed. Clinically. Well, I've yet to have a professional diagnosis, but it all seems to lead to this.

I was thinking the other day, that at this moment, if it did not anger God, nor hurt my parents, well... I'm fed-up! (this is another symptom)

I cried talking about ice-cream and when a doctor was taking my pulse because I had chest pains (more symptoms, I found)

I don't feel like doing anything...

And all this because of what? Work. I love to work, I enjoy being busy, but I'm not right now and I'm struggling. I keep inventing ways to keep busy but it is difficult. It's a management thing. My boss is not a Manager, nor is he a CEO, not even a leader. He is simply a 'project manager' - differs drastically!

I am tired, I even thought that had I lived elsewhere I might've resorted to other solutions, but, again, I wouldn't want to anger the Almighty.

I'm tired, I have a strenuous headache, which is more muscular than your reuglar headache, pain killers don't work, muscle relaxants and sleeping pills gave me a night mare the first night and now I'm terrified of trying it again even though it may have been coincidence! (Norgesic)

I'm tired, I'm also looking for work. BUT, I, unfortunately, don't even feel like tweeking my CV...

I don't feel like going to any funky resto's nor cooking something delicious, I don't feel anything I think.

I guess I need to seek professional help for some medication like Cymbalta - so I read.

I don't know me anymore and that saddens me.