Missing you...

Missing you…


I feel a certain emptiness enveloping me, a creepy crawly from childhood days. A void left open like some gaping wound so blackened that maggots have already left. I feel an emptiness overwhelming me.

The breeze outside beckons to lovers from all around, welcoming a warm embrace, it touches my hair, lifting its swirls, reminding me of how it may feel and then drops the limp strands of hair to other limbs of green.

I look out into the twilight as things become clearer, tiredness takes its toll on me and from afar I hear the voice of lateness call upon me murmuring into my ears the drumming of time.

It is a demise that I have come to miss my vortex, m black hole of emotions, I miss it, for at the end it is still an emotion. I want to feel, perhaps I have forgotten how? How do I feel?

There is no coldness even, for even that is a feeling. How shall I cry for help? To whom?


"No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Manor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee."

(MEDITATION XVII., Devotions upon Emergent Occasions by John Donne)

Sweet Nuthin's an' a Lil' Sumthin'

I Want a Little Sugar in my Bowl
sung by Nina Simone

I want a little sugar
in my bowl
I want a little sweetness
down in my soul
I could stand some lovin'Oh so bad
Feel so lonely and I feel so sad
I want a little steam
on my clothes
Maybe I could fix things up
so they'll go
Whatsa matter Daddy
Come on, save my soul
Drop a little sugar in my bowl
I ain't foolin'Drop a little sugar in my bowl
Well I want a little sugar
in my bowl
Well I want a little sweetness down in my soul
You been acting strangely
I've been told
Move me Daddy
I want some sugar in my bowl
I want a little steam on my clothes
Maybe I can fix things up so they'll go
Whatsa matter Daddy
Come on save my soul
Drop a little sugar in my bowl
I ain't foolin'Drop some sugar- yeah- in my bowl.


I miss the magic and the mystery, I miss the feel of a whisper and a breath, I miss the elusiveness of being a woman, I miss the fingers through my hair.

A Phantasmagoria

circa 18-08-04

As I drove to work this morning I had to think of what I want to write, how shall I write it and to whom shall I write. I wanted to write about what I thought and how I thought it and I realized that I felt like a myriad of sentiments and feelings, a multitude of thoughts taking form and as bubbles disappearing. I see the connection with many a thing, with many a peson.

What does it mean? Surreal? From the French ‘surréalisme’ Sur meaning above Realisme Meaning realism which goes back to latin from reality

From www.Dictionary.com :

Surreal
adj 1: characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtapositions; "a great concourse of phantasmagoric shadows"--J.C.Powys; "the incongruous imagery in surreal art and literature" [syn: phantasmagoric, phantasmagorical, surrealistic] 2: resembling a dream; "night invested the lake with a dreamlike quality"; "as irrational and surreal as a dream" [syn: dreamlike]


I like to think of it differently, I tend to feel it is not so far beyond reality more like a state of being just hovering above reality; it’s the reality that makes you think twice, you know when you look at something that seems regular yet deceives you because it is so much more than irregular.

Something closer to trompe l’oeil yet tips over its edge….

Yes, that’s what I want to write about and feel and see. Within this poetry of people called life.

Dubai International Film Festival

it got to a point where I became non-chalant by the amount of pictures being taken of me... So thats the life of a star, a picture is no more than a pause in the machinations of life, it no longer becomes that element of capturing a special moment.

Except for when it's with people who mean something to you. Like the directors & film makers I met; Walid Al Awadhi & Daoud Hussein from Q8, Bassam Al Thawadi, from Bahrain and John Holt from the states who apparently does 'films for the History channel' so he says, so I tease him.

We had a blast together, Walid has done a documentary of Iraq, that he will want to show at next ears film fest, I saw the trailers and they were tantalising!